The Hardest Part.

I am to the point I can't take anything anymore.
The past week I've been waking up to the same sleepless night and the same tears rolling down my cheeks.
I've been the most depressed I have been in so long. I don't want to leave my room, and I don't want to move.
I just want to sit in here and rot. The thought of having to drop out of school due to financial burdens makes me physically ill.
There are so many people who don't take school seriously and waste their money. And then there's me. Struggling to stay in school, putting my family in the financial situation that they are in now.. And being completely unhappy. I think I want this so bad. But at the same time, I just wish I'd taken the money I had and just traveled. Even if it were alone. I need a journey, something to help me grow. Not being able to qualify for loans and not having money for school makes me feel completely worthless. Photography makes me feel worthless. I am in love with something so saturated and overdone, I am so afraid I will never be good enough to make it. I think I want to be a teacher. An art teacher.
Don't take my word for it, I am so indecisive..

As for now, I can't go back until money runs out. Once that happens, I'll be somewhere else. Somewhere I can afford, somewhere I can be happy.
Sometimes I wonder if I had a best friend to just hug me or talk to me, maybe i'd feel better.
I am at this place where I feel like i have absolutely nothing. It's just me, my dog, and all these materialistic things that don't fill any void.

I need help, I need a friend, I need something before I have to give this all up.