Thursday, January 22, 2009

taking the easy way out.

I feel the urge to just give up. I can't deal with more heartache and getting let down and dealing with this by myself. I really, really cant. I try to remain happy but it's the hardest thing. I think I just end up being sort of quiet or I sound rude when I speak. I'm so stressed out and seeing everyone get what they need for school while i can't even afford to buy gas bothers me. I know EVERYONE i know isn't well off. but most of them are.
Getting denied by yet another loan company bugs me. I filed as an independent, and I honestly don't have anybody else to co-sign for me and the amount of money i will need. I can't let myself depend on my grandparents anymore. It makes me lose too much sleep.
I feel like a burden, I am a burden.

Why is it when I started to really care about this friend he/she decides to completely cut me off? And then suddenly wants to be good again after all of the sketchyness and night ruining and making me feel like i am completely worthless.
I don't understand I really just need to curl up and disappear.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Catfish,

    All those feeling, I was there no more then a day ago. Its like when one bad thing happens things seem to take a domino effect for the worst. Feeling like your a burden on friends and fam really adds to the stress which in my case was a nice way if saying depressed. All it took for me to change my mind was one good significant thing, luckily I got that one thing that pushed me in the right way of thinking. I hope the same thing can happen to you.

    As for your friend, if you see he/she showing true sincerity, forgive and forget G. Sometime people repent for the bad way they treat us so its up to us to say, Hey Its ok.

    Wish you well, much love peace.

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